


caught in the act

by calvinahobbes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), M/M, Semi-Public Sex, slight unintentional edging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-10-26 23:06:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20750261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calvinahobbes/pseuds/calvinahobbes
Summary: “Dan! She's right downstairs! She's gonna know!”





	caught in the act

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, intoapuddle! You once mentioned that you would like to read 100k of Dan and Phil trying not to get caught having sex in the Lester family home. This is only 3,5k but I hope you are satisfied nonetheless.
> 
> Thank you, kouredios, for beta! And thank you, yikesola, for talking me off the ledge.

It's hot under the covers, and it's starting to show on Dan's face, the rosy patch on his cheek glowing furiously. Phil wants to taste it, so he does. It makes Dan huff and push at his forehead, but Phil just dips down to his neck, running a finger along the neckline of his t-shirt all the while. He wants to see the way that blush spreads, wants to trace it across Dan's chest and down further… 

Last night was quick and desperate and little inebriated. It's by far the most mediocre sex they've had yet, rushed as they were and desperately trying to keep quiet so they wouldn't be heard by Phil's parents. They had got in late, cold from the bus journey and tipsy from the Sky Bar drinks, and Phil's parents had already been in bed. 

Phil wants to make up for it now. He wants to take his time, he wants to taste, he wants to see…

Dan seems to have similar ideas. He pushes Phil back, a hand on his naked chest and looks up at him with those dark brown eyes that make Phil go a bit crazy. "Phil," he whispers, and it's maddening how innocent and hesitant he can sound when Phil knows he can be anything but. 

"What?" Phil whispers back, but then can't help himself from dipping down and taking Dan's mouth in a deep, wet kiss. Dan's hand on his chest twitches and his arm relaxes and his tongue meets Phil's, and it's perfect. 

So perfect that Phil forgot Dan was trying to start a conversation until he turns his face away again and breathes, "There's something I wanna do…"

"What?" Phil says stupidly, his mind already tumbling through a million wild possibilities, none of which he would be opposed to except some of them seem a bit tricky or loud or both, and he doesn't know how much time they have before his parents will be back home from work on a Friday.

"Just… wanna wank you," Dan murmurs, hiding his face against Phil's as if he is actually a bit shy about asking. 

There's an instant rush of anticipation through Phil. They've done far more than that by now, and so he was definitely expecting a much more elaborate request. But he's up for pretty much anything as long as he gets to get off with Dan. He says as much, and Dan pulls back a bit to look at him, a goofy wry smile dimpling his cheek. He kisses Phil quickly.

"No, but like… I wanna do it properly. Lube and all," Dan says, and Phil's heart kicks up its speed instantly.

"Yeah," he nods, "yeah. Yes please." He can already imagine the wet glide, Dan's soft pretty hands, which are always so gentle and warm. He's fully hard already, just thinking about it.

Dan huffs a small laugh, but before he can turn away to rummage for the lube, Phil has caught up his hands in both of his own. He kisses the palms, first the one and then the other, and then he plants a delicate peck on the soft tip of each finger. By the time he's kissed the last pinky, Dan is breathing a bit heavier through slightly parted lips, eyes darkly on Phil's mouth.

"You're distracting me," he says, and it's so quiet and hungry all at once that Phil can't help but groan at the look on his face, because maybe he does want to keep kissing and licking and sucking.

But Dan pushes him back then, and Phil sprawls into the corner, messily shoving the pillows and duvet up behind him so he can lean back a bit. When Dan turns back around with the lube he stops and stares for so long that Phil almost starts to worry about him. 

"Dan?" he says.

Dan blinks his eyes and transfers them from Phil's chest to his face. "I've had this exact picture in my head," he says. 

It makes Phil blush a little. He's done a lot with Dan, both with him in the room and very far away with only his grainy image on a laptop screen. He's done a lot before Dan. And still sometimes the realisation that Dan actually thinks he's hot surprises him. He reaches for him, but Dan just smiles and shakes his head and stays kneeling on the bed just out of touch.

He squeezes out a small amount of lube and rubs his hands together, which makes Phil twitch a little. Then he looks sheepishly at Phil's crotch. "Oh. Um, take yourself out?" 

Just that simple request makes anticipation spike in Phil's stomach. He takes the opportunity to squeeze himself through the fabric before he pushes his pyjama bottoms down with a quiet hiss. It takes effort to let go but he rests his arms loosely by his sides and tries to relax, let Dan set the pace of whatever this is because he was brave enough to ask for it. Phil wants to give him everything he asks for.

Dan shuffles closer on his knees until he's settled between Phil's legs, holding his hands up a bit awkwardly so he won't get lube everywhere. He seems completely unable to look away from Phil's dick, and the image of Dan mesmerised and awkwardly shuffling around makes Phil giggle a little. Dan looks up at him and stares and shakes his head like he thinks Phil is a bit mad. Phil is about to explain himself when Dan reaches down and takes hold of him and all that comes out is a slightly undignified groan.

Dan's hand is warm and soft just like Phil knew it would be, and the lube makes the first glide effortless and so so good. Dan keeps his grip light, moving slowly over Phil's cock and yet Phil struggles to stay still under the touch. 

It's more intense than he imagined; the focused attention from Dan, the fact that they aren't touching anywhere else, how Phil can't distract himself by touching back. 

"Dan…" he groans, but Dan just grins and shushes him.

"I'm trying something," he says and then he's adding a slow twist and a bit more pressure and Phil has to hold back against the urge to fuck up into it for real now. He wants Dan to have this, he wants to see where it's going.

So far he's mostly been looking at Dan's face, but now he glances down to where they're touching, and it makes his breath come short. 

Dan's hand looks big on him. Phil definitely thinks Dan can cover a little more of him than Phil can himself. There's something practiced about the gesture, which is both hot and slightly strange because Phil knows how awkward it can feel from that angle. But the sight of Dan's hand on him is definitely doing something to him.

It seems to be doing something to Dan as well. He's practically glowing with heat, a peek of his chest down his t-shirt tells Phil he's thoroughly flushed by now, and his cock is tenting his pyjamas quite obscenely. He's absentmindedly biting his bottom lip, eyes still focused only on Phil's hard cock in his hand, and Phil thinks just this image of him would be enough to set him off if he wasn't trying his best to keep it together.

And then Dan grips him with his other hand as well, setting up a rhythm of one hand over the other, a tight warm pull that seems almost infinite. Phil grunts or whines or makes some kind of noise and he can't keep still any longer, squirming inelegantly and then panting as he stares wildly at Dan who grins triumphantly at him.

“Good?” Dan asks, as if he doesn't know, and Phil nods and shakes his head and clutches the sheets and keens.

Just then there's a swift knock on the door. It swings open without a pause, his mum bursting in absolutely casually, saying, “Phil? Did Dan not come in with you last n-- Oh! Oh dear!”

They share one horrible second of eye contact over Dan's shoulder before she flings a hand over her eyes and stumbles backwards out the door again.

Dan stares at him in absolute shock. In the hallway there's the sound of steps and then a thump as if his mum has leaned heavily against the wall. Dan and Phil stare at each other in mute horror for a moment. Then there's a weird sound. It takes Phil several moments to parse it as laughter. His mum is out there in the hallway laughing at them, peals and peals of it that are quickly becoming excruciating to listen to.

Just when Phil thinks they need to get dressed and make sure she hasn't gone mad from seeing her son having sex, the laughter stops. There's quiet for a while and then Kath comes back towards his door. 

Phil yanks the duvet out from behind his back to cover them both in a mad scramble, and Dan huddles down under it. He looks ridiculous hunched there, still sat between Phil's legs.

Outside the door Kath clears her throat. “Dan, sweetheart, are you staying for dinner tomorrow night, too?” she asks. It's weirdly formal and still Phil thinks there's a tone of stifled laughter underneath.

Dan stares at Phil and shakes his head as if asking for advice and Phil shrugs his shoulders and spreads his hands and suddenly they've been having a several seconds long silent conversation while hiding under Phil’s duvet, so Dan pokes his head out from under it and calls, “Hi, Kath! Um, yes please, if it's no trouble?”

“Oh, absolutely no trouble, love,” his mum replies. She sounds mostly normal again. “It's past noon, though. You should get up soon, boys. There's tea and biscuits in the kitchen when you're ready.”

“Okay,” Dan replies weakly when Phil remains mute.

Then Kath's arm appears, awkwardly scrambling for the door handle, grasping it and pulling the door shut on them again.

Phil sinks back, a mess of embarrassment and surprise and awkwardness warring in his brain. His mum just walked in on them having sex! He realises he's blushing so hard his face feels like it's on fire. 

He stares at Dan, who looks equally shook, and says, “I’m celibate now.”

For some reason that makes Dan laugh. He slaps a lube-sticky hand down on Phil's thigh, and it's as if the sight sets something off in him. He tips over on his side and laughs and laughs while Phil just sits there with his dick still out in the air and stares at him and wonders if everyone is insane except him. He pulls the duvet over his lap and waits. 

Eventually Dan's laughter dies out, except for another burst when he tries to wipe his eyes and thinks better of it at the last moment. Phil wipes them for him, leaning over him and feeling the embarrassment subside in favour of fondness.

Dan smiles up at him and sighs. “You know I worried about that? I knew your parents were nice, but some part of me still worried that once they figured it out they’d ask me to pack my bags immediately.”

Dan may be smiling, but Phil doesn't find it funny. He frowns and shakes his head. “They wouldn't do that.”

“I know,” Dan says softly. “Still not so sure my mum would be as cool if _she_ was the one to have walked in on us like that. My dad - definitely not.” He raises his eyebrows and seems to stare at something very far away. 

Phil leans down and kisses him softly, and Dan smiles into it and kisses back.

Phil can't stay bent that way for long so he groans back into an upright position and sighs. “I guess we better get dressed and face the tea.”

Dan sits up too, but he shakes his head, grinning ear to ear. “What are you talking about? I was in the middle of something…”

Phil gawks at him. “Dan! She's right downstairs! She's gonna know!”

Dan shrugs, an awful twinkle in his eye. “So what?” he asks, his voice positively bubbling with mirth. “She already thinks we’re sharing orgasms. Might as well finish what we started.”

"I told you I'm never having sex again," Phil insists.

Dan quirks an eyebrow. "Never?"

Phil shakes his head adamantly.

"That's an awfully long time, Philip." Dan leans forward and kisses Phil's chin, which is a sort of weird kind of unsexy place to go for, so Phil allows it. Only then Dan moves his mouth to his jaw, then his ear, breath warm and delicious there, and then onto his pulse point… 

"Dan, I can't," he whimpers. He's definitely not tipping his head back to give Dan better access. Dan's lube-tacky hands land on his naked sides, just resting there for now, and so Phil sighs and whimpers a bit more as Dan kisses ever so gently.

Dan pulls the duvet off Phil's lap then and Phil can feel him grin against his neck when he says, "You're not even soft." His hand drifts down, slowly, across his chest and Phil doesn't protest.

He may not be fully soft but his erection had definitely managed to subside some, and the way it's filling out again now is just this side of uncomfortable. He feels a bit dizzy, but he doesn't know if it's just residual embarrassment. He hisses at the first touch of Dan's flesh against his. 

"Sshh," Dan whispers against his jaw. "Gotta keep quiet."

Phil makes an indignant sound at that, because he wasn't even making any real noise, but then Dan captures his mouth in a deep, slightly lewd kiss that makes him moan because it's hot and then frown because he just made a noise and then blush because his mum might actually hear and then moan again because Dan is terrible. It's a lot of half-formed thoughts all at once, and all the while Dan's hand is working him back into full hardness. He shivers.

Dan lets go of him with a muttered, "Wait," and Phil bites back his sound of protest. He wills himself to lean back quietly and wait for Dan to relocate the lube, but the urge to hurry him on is on the tip of his tongue. 

Then Dan's hand is back on him, a firm wide grip encompassing as much of Phil's hard cock as he can, immediately setting up an overwhelming rhythm. He pulls firmly and twists and almost pushes on the downstroke in a way that has Phil scrambling and gasping for breath. He pants and stares at Dan who grins back at him, and Phil opens his mouth in a silent shout and at just that moment Dan lightens his grip and leans in for another kiss that's mostly just a swipe of tongue.

"Your mum's definitely gonna know what we're doing if you shout," Dan whispers. He's whispering just to make point. Phil kind of hates him. 

"Stop," he says warningly. He's fighting to keep his breathing quiet, but his lungs feel as if they are turning into steel vices. Dan just chuckles and picks up that maddening rhythm again. 

It's good, and Phil has finally scrambled himself into a position where he has the leverage to fuck up into Dan's hand. It's so good. The tight wet warmth of Dan's hand on him, and Dan's eyes flicking all over his face as if he is drinking up every quiet gasp Phil lets out. He fucks up into it and feels sweat begin to form on his lower back. He thinks he could come from this eventually, even though Dan's grip is not quite right.

Suddenly Dan stops wanking completely, eyes wide as he stares at Phil. "Was that a car door?" 

Phil is quite stupid at the moment, so it takes him a second to understand what Dan's question is implying. He feels a wash of dread as they both listen for the sound of his dad opening the front door. They wait for what feels like hours but nothing happens. Eventually it seems that too much time has passed, and they both breathe easier. Dan leans in for them to kiss again, but just their lips are almost touching, Phil has a horrible thought.

He jerks his head back and stares at Dan through slitted eyes. 

Dan looks back in confusion for a moment before his eyes widen in surprise. "Oh my god, Phil, I wouldn't!" he says, but he's already laughing, so how can Phil trust anything he says? 

"You horrible little…" he starts to say, scrambling to get up so he can murder Dan.

But Dan pushes him back, still laughing. "I wasn't making it up! Phil! I wasn't!" 

Phil growls his frustration and kisses Dan hard. "You're gonna wank me, and you're gonna do it until I come. Take off your shirt."

Dan stares at him, eyes wide and pretty mouth slightly open in that absolutely maddening way he has. Then he nods and pulls his shirt off and goes right back to what he was doing.

Despite all the distractions Phil feels that he's close. He pulls Dan in again by the neck, and kisses him because he can. He makes it wet and maybe a bit angry, but Dan just lets him, meeting him willingly at every turn, a barely audible moan escaping him. When he tries to pull back, Phil hesitates for just a second, but when Dan presses his neck back against Phil's hand again he reluctantly lets go.

"I've been wanting to do this," Dan whispers. "I wanna see." 

Then he forms a tight ring around Phil's cock with just his finger and thumb and speeds up. Phil nearly cries out. He doesn't know why it's so good. He grabs hold of Dan's wrist just for something to do and stares at Dan who smiles crookedly, colour high in his cheeks.

"Is this right?" he asks, and there's something so incongruously sweet about it. "I saw you do it this way when you got close."

The hotness of that statement sears through Phil. The idea that not only was Dan watching him with such rapt attention during those times on Skype, but that he actually filed Phil's tells away for future reference is burning him up. He nods and keeps his hand on Dan just to feel the flex of his wrist, soft skin and delicate bones. 

Dan does it just right. He does it better than Phil ever could. He does it exactly like Phil usually likes to do. This way Phil can only feel the pure sensation of it around his cock, not distracted by controlling his hand or setting a pace, and all the while Dan is staring at him like he's the best show on earth, and Phil keeps climbing, climbing, climbing until he has to let go of Dan's wrist and bite down on his fist to quiet his groan as he comes. 

Dan's hand softens on him but keeps wanking him through it, stays there and milks him for every last drop, until Phil can finally remove his hand again and use it to pull Dan in for another kiss. Dan doesn't let go until Phil hisses and squirms in discomfort at the overstimulation. 

Then he collapses onto his side, already plunging his sticky come and lube covered hand into his own pyjamas. Phil stares in dazed fascination, but Dan has barely got a hand on himself before he moans obscenely loudly and Phil's stomach twists in worry. 

"Shush, Dan!" he says, but Dan just stares back, eyes wide and hand working. Phil squirms around to lie next to him, pulling his bottoms down because he wants to see, and Dan keens so quietly probably only dogs and Phil can hear. 

Suddenly Phil can't help himself. He slides in closer and whispers, "You've _got_ to stay quiet, Dan, sshhh!"

The stink-eye Dan manages to give him is pretty impressive, considering he's probably seconds away from coming. Phil huffs a laugh onto his neck, and Dan shudders and moans again, barely keeping it down and whines, "Oh! I swear to God, Phil, you have to -- help me…" And Phil only barely has time to realise and clamp his hand down over Dan's mouth before he comes on a loud and long moan.

Phil laughs again from the orgasm high and nuzzles Dan's ear and murmurs, "We're so bad at that." 

Dan just shivers and rolls into him, cuddling close even as his orgasm is still shuddering through him, and Phil holds him and breathes in the messy scent of their sex and luxuriates in the warmth and the goodness…

Soon, though, Dan squirms and utters a sound of displeasure. "I'm so gross. I need to wash off."

Phil whines and burrows closer. "Can't we just stay here?"

"Did you already forget the traumatising event with your mother? We have to go drink tea and try to pretend it never happened."

Phil thinks he might cry. He punches Dan weakly in the side. "I hate you."

"Excuse me? Why?" Dan sits up and looks down at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Because! You're the one who insisted we still have sex. Now it's going to be even more awkward to look her in the eye!"

"Phil!" Dan rolls his eyes. "She literally saw us. She already knew. Or are you saying you didn't enjoy that?" There's sarcasm there, but there's a flicker of doubt in Dan's gaze as well.

Phil shakes his head. "Of course I did." He squeezes Dan's thigh. "I loved it. I'm just… reliving the trauma."

Dan jumps off the bed and bends down to plant a kiss on Phil's forehead. "Better your trauma than mine!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. [Like/reblog on tumblr.](https://calvinahobbes.tumblr.com/post/188039515515)


End file.
